Living My Vida Loca

My brain is tired. 

This happens to me more than I can count and not everyone understands where I am coming from because I am not physically tired, just mentally exhausted.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm one of those one-person bands, you know, the person who has every single apparatus strapped to their body and every movement they make plays an instrument attached to them? 

It is exhausting. 

Yet, things need to get done. Something in me tells me I have to be productive, I have to do my best, try my hardest, and keep going. 

Even if it is only to conquer breadmaking. 

To get the bathrooms cleaned.

To get designs up and listed in the shop. 

Get the blog written.

And record my next sermon, and/or bible lesson for one of my students.

Intertwined with those are other activities involving things we do within the community, and work or ministry-related video calls. 

Perhaps, I am sharing too much but this is my life, this is some of what goes on behind the scenes and this is my reality and my constant struggle.

Sometimes, it feels like everything is screaming to get done all at once and I try to oblige. 

Only to discover that I cannot.

There are so many different things that require different mental and physical abilities and without realizing it, I get worn out.

Mentally and sometimes, physically, I am exhausted.

It is time to take a few steps back, time to say no to things that do not spark an interest for me at this moment in time, and rest.

Unfortunately, I don't think I am able to dismiss housecleaning from my list although it does not spark any interest or joy in me at any moment in my life. 

Apart from house cleaning, it is time for me to indulge in self-care this week, to give myself permission to do the things that might not be considered "productive" but that will bring much joy and rest on a personal and individual level.

The world has been placed on "reset" this year, yet I have been busier than ever. 

Productivity will increase only when rest is given its proper place. 

As a gift to myself for my birthday week, I will choose to rest and indulge in activities that will spark a little more creativity and frivolity, like reading for fun, not for research or study.

If you have been doing the same as I have, if you have been trying to run the proverbial treadmill attempting to do everything in this year of enforced rest, I hope you will also be able to balance it out by taking time out to rest and enjoy activities that will give you joy.

Cheers to the simple things in life!